A comic? About me? Listening to music? How original!

This is like the opposite to my other comic. No matter how I'm feeling, hearing "Anyway You Want It" by Journey gets me, for lack of a better word, "pumped."

"Dealing" with "People"

On my first day back this semester I was filled with hope. Hope for a fresh start. Hope for personal growth. Hope for a car.  Hope for a lot of things.  But then, after less then a minute on the main walkway through campus, I encountered some "people." That's right, "people." And all hope was lost. Forever.

I use the quotes because 90% of human beings that I randomly encounter in my life are fine and make no impact on me one way or another. But the other 10% necessitate the quotes. The quotes indicate their uniqueness and this "uniqueness" is what makes me displeased to be near them. Today I will describe one brand of "people": the oft-encountered (on campus), ever-persistent, Clipboards.

I characterize anyone as a Clipboard by the following: standing in a high-traffic area, wearing some sort of organization's apparel, "opinions," vacant, soulless eyes, and clutching their most defining characteristic: clipboards.



"People" don't merit fancier drawings. Also I'm lazy.



This is an actual thing that happened to me today.  I dismounted my bike as per the large "DISMOUNT ZONE" sign painted on the ground. As I walked my bike through the plaza area to my class I put my headphones on to indicate to the world that I couldn't hear it and was doing my best to ignore it. As I resisted the urge to sing along aloud to "Don't Stop Believin'," I caught a glimpse of plastic with a bit of metal holding paper to it. 

In a panic, I tried to find some fellow Clipboard-avoiders to mesh with and slip by, but I was alone and I stood out with my bike.  Easy prey.  I lamented not putting in my contacts and wearing sunglasses to round out the "I'm Ignoring You" look.  Because without sunglasses, I was still vulnerable. They could make eye contact and all would be lost. Forever.

And that's just what happened.  Being the (regrettably) nice guy I am, once eye contact was made, he said something and, in an uncontrollable reflex I've developed, I took one side of my headphones off to hear what it was. "Stupid move, Glenn," chided my internal monologue.

Here is where the story becomes an atypical interaction with "people." He said, and I'm not making any of this up, "Hey is that your dog?" indicating to my bike.  Dumbfounded, my verbal reaction reassured me that I could be mean when I need to be. I condescendingly said  "Does it look like a dog?" I know, not an award-winning comeback, but dammit, I'm just happy I didn't stumble over some half-words and foam at the mouth, so no judging. I didn't even wait for him to finish asking if he could talk to me about some.... cause or whatever, so I just said, "No. I have class," indicating that I was both busy and better than him.

Triumphantly, I locked up my bike and victoriously hummed along to the rest of "Don't Stop Believin.'"  Now I didn't actually have class for another 45 minutes, but I wasn't technically lying. At least not this time. Any other Clipboard encounter and I'll say whatever I have to to get away. In fact, I recall one Greenpeace Clipboard asking if I loved my family to hook me into a conversation. I replied "No, I hate my family" (I don't really) and briskly walked away, with no particular place to go other than away.

Despite Clipboards, and indeed anyone else who I would consider "people," cause all hope to be lost forever,  I find that all hope is easily found once again by defeating them. And, with that, I add another hope to my list. Hope to never have to "deal" with those particular "people" again. Forever. Or at least for a week or so.

Here's A Comic Until I Finish My Next Real Post

I'll have a real post soon. I promise. Actually I don't owe you anything! You don't deserve a new post!


Wait! I didn't mean it! Don't leave me! I'm almost done with something hilarious! You know I'm good for it!