SITAWRMB III: The Revenge of Stuff I Think About While Riding My Bike

A few weeks ago, my car was out of commission, and now that the ser-vice light is coming on, I've "decided" to ride my bike more. So it's time once again for my only recurring type of post: Stuff I Think About While Riding My Bike! *(Now with noses!)

Revengence.

1. Making a Face

I have a problem. Not a serious one, but a problem nevertheless.  This problem is an inability to maintain a normal face.  This problem usually manifests itself whenever I think, so I try to avoid thinking all together. But anyone who has ever ridden a bike will tell you that you probably should be thinking while riding. And since this post is specifically called " Stuff I THINK About While Riding My Bike" it will be impossible to keep a face that doesn't look like a mouth-breathing moron.



I believe the proper word for that face is "Derp"

 2. Proper Attire

Did I miss the memo where it's not permissable to wear jeans and sandals whilst operating a bicycle?  Sorry I don't own a pair of those fancy shoes that clip onto the pedals. Sorry I don't wear form fitting bike shorts that leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.  Sorry I only own normal people clothes.  If I'm going to commit a fashion faux pas, I'd prefer it be during my brief transportation sessions, rather than spend all day in in spandex.  I've mentioned bike attire in the past, but now that it's summer and they're out in hordes, I feel that because I'm using my bike for transportation rather than hardcore recreation, I've somehow offended the entire population of the city just because I was too lazy to put socks on.  Seriously. Stop looking at me. I'm not changing.

Leaves nothing to the imagination. NOTHING.

3. Getting Shanked

To my knowledge, throughout the entire park, there is only one trash can.  It is a metal barrel next to a sign about picking up your dog's poo.  This recepticle serves two purposes. The first is for the obvious purpose of containing refuse. The second is to make me think there is a person in the dark, at night, waiting to stab me.  Granted it's a small barrell, but it is roughly the size of a crouched man with a shiv in hand.  All I can think as I pass the barrel at night is how much I wouldn't enjoy getting stabbed. Especially by someone hiding behind a trash can, in a park, at night, while riding my bike.




Looks like the barrell is going to shank me. Oh great,  now I have to worry about the barrel gaining sentience.


4. How Stupid Recumbent Bikes Are

I mean, come on. Just look at them! They look like Dr. Seuss bikes!

I can't tell where the bike begins and the man ends....