Things I Should Have Done In College

Now that I'm "officially' done with college (I was unofficially done about 2 years ago, when I stopped caring), I have the perfect time to reflect on the things I did. After about 5 minutes of that I then realized I didn't do a lot of things.  The following is a list of things wanted to do, but didn't.


1. Updated My Blog More (Specifically About That Trip)

I'll start this off with an admission: a good portion of the reason I'm writing this particular blog post is to try out my new drawing tablet that my amazing friends got me for graduation. Following that admission, I'd like to thank Austin, Christian and Shelly for making me have to draw more.

Maybe now the floating, disembodied heads of my friends will stop haunting me.

Now, I'd like to issue an apology. I'm sorry I said I'd do a blog post about the trip last August and then never made one. I'm sure you've noticed that I'm super lazy. The fact that this post is even up (it is up, right?) is a miracle. Sure I could make excuses like: "I'm too tired" or "I can't draw" or "I have to pass this class so I can graduate," but I know now that this blog is like, super important. For serious.

I resolve now to post at least one long blog post a month, or 2 short ones. If I don't keep up with the posts, I give anyone permission to come to my place of residence and slap me until I make one. Did I mention I'll be living in South Korea for a year?

2. Kept Up With Friends (Or To Not Have Been A Total Social Recluse)

Save for the aforementioned three people and my roommates, I feel like the little social interaction I had over the last year or so has made me somewhat of a hermit. In fact I recall about a month this last summer where both my roommates were gone and "all" my other friends were out of town or busy. Most people would call it June, but I like to call the Garlic Month.

I call it so because I partook of pepperoni and garlic pizza at least once a week and as a result, for the first time I could actually feel how bad I smelled. On top of it all I frequently talked to myself, and, if I didn't have work that day, I would just stay in my pajamas. Had my beard been longer and grayer, I would have been the very model of a stereotypical hermit. Once I even got to yell at some kids for hitting a baseball into our window!

And I also became an olde timey prospector that same month.

Aside from that month, I've kept an acceptable appearance/smell for society. So why do I feel like society is forcing me to be a recluse? Or "reclusing" me, if you will.  Well, the problem isn't society; it's me.  And it's my own stupid fault I can't keep up with friends.  I just get too awkward about calling people.  I'm never sure on the etiquette on calling friends you haven't talked to for awhile. So to avoid all awkwardness, I usually just don't call. That can actually lead to further awkwardness later on. Unfortunately, I've never been a good at thinking ahead. Just ask me anytime after I've fallen for eating some Panda Express again.

3. Found Out What That Noise I Always Heard When Walking Past The Student Center Theater Was

Every single time I walked by it sounded like someone was drilling for about 5 seconds. There was never a time I walked by when I did not hear the sound. It obviously couldn't have been some sort of machinery, so my mind instantly came up with the following scenario: the slowest, most patient heist ever pulled. Slowly drilling into the vault, only turning the drill on for 5 seconds at a time over the course of 4 years and coincidentally only when I walked by. It is the only logical explanation.

My theory doesn't go over as well when I shout it at random passers-by.

4. Chose A Major That I Liked

To those that know me, which is really anyone who reads this blog, it is no secret that I kind of actually hate my major.  Sure, it didn't start out that way. At the beginning I'd feel like a whiz getting the console to output "Hello World" or finally figuring out how a loop worked. Fast forward a few years and I felt like a moron when, for an assignment involving a 3D simulation of a flood in Poudre Valley, all I could do was turn the entire screen blue.  This resulted in me having to repeat that class and put off graduation another semester.

I was barely a decent programmer and what little joy I got from supposedly solving a problem was squashed when I'd get my grades back. So why did I choose computer science? It was all because of a clever ruse pulled by the Computer Science Department.  My freshman year when I was "branching out" I tried loads of things, English, Political Science, Oceanography, more English.  But one class can be attributed to my downfall: CS150.

CS150 was a Java programming class not intended for CS majors. Let me repeat that: it was NOT intended for CS majors so it was not indicative of the course work.  Somewhere in my mind I knew, but I completely ignored it. Instead, I was amazed by the subject matter, silently hoping that this is what programmers got to do.

What was the class about, you say? Shapes, basically. We learned how to draw shapes in Java. It was essentially the preschool equivalent of programming.

Fooled by that class, I signed up for CS160 the next semester. And if I hadn't done that... well my life would be decidedly different, but more to the matter at hand, I wouldn't have number 5 on this list.


5. Been The Better Person (For The Wrong Reasons)

In my CS160 class, I met my future ex-girlfriend. There were things about our relationship that I thought might cause a problem down the line, but I foolishly ignored them. After about 2-ish years, she dumped me in the summer of 2010 for reasons that were never clear to me (and perhaps to her).  I won't lie; I was devastated and I'm still feeling the effects.

Not being stupid or irrational at all.

Dealing with an extremely damaged ego and going to therapy for a year made me come to terms with a lot of personal problems.  Yet, no matter how much I pushed through the tough times, there was always one thing I just felt like I had to do. It was the one thing I wanted to do more than anything, but never got the chance:  to get the most polite revenge ever.

I played it out in my mind. I'd see her one last time, we'd have awkward eye contact, and I'd say, as genuinely as I could, "Hey. Take care of yourself." Then just walk away. No time for her to respond. Just leave. At that point the camera would slowly zoom out and the credits would roll.

Then my glasses would inexplicably darken and something would explode.

It's silly, I know that it would have been a bad idea, and I'm glad I actually never did do it. She's got her own life now and I wish her all the best (well, most of the best, she did cause me untold amounts of existential turmoil). But I've got my own life to worry about and, with any luck, can still get some revenge by living it. That'll show her!