Stuff I Think About While Riding My Bike

I ride my bike to and from school every day. Sometimes twice for work. And the way I go usually is devoid of traffic save for a few intersections, but it still takes about a half an hour to get where I'm going. That's 2 hours of riding on some days. So I have plenty of time to think about strange stuff, and boy does my mind think of the weirdest things when it's allowed to wander. So I present for you: Stuff I Think About While Riding My Bike, or SITAWRMB. That's a working title.

1. While I'd would never actually want this to happen, if I ever had to be hit by a vehicle, I would want to be hit by an ambulance. Think about it: a team of trained professionals is already there to save your life. Well, I suppose you could still die as an ambulance is pretty big and if it's going fast enough, you're done for. But on average, I'd choose ambulance every time. Though if I did get hit fatally, at least my last thought would be one of delicious irony. "Ha! I about to be killed by an ambulance! How hilariou-" I'd think as it plowed into me. Macabre, but hilarious. Also, I guess I'd have to be deaf in this scenario, otherwise I'd hear the sirens and probably move. Again, I'd never actually want this to happen, but if some omnicient intergalactic being forced me to be struck by a vehicle for it's amusement, I'd choose ambulance just as a small victory for myself.

2. Here's strange situation I actually tweeted about a while ago. It's about 1 in the morning, I'm riding home from work, it's cold, foggy and there's a full moon. In the distance I hear police sirens. The first thought in my head? A werewolf has escaped. Now, I don't actually believe in werewolves, but some part of me has been trained to think full moon + creepiness = werewolf. I've ridden through that park countless times, on much darker nights, but the fog added about 241% more creepiness. Needless to say, I rode home in record time.

3. Street lights are there to help us see at night. Except for one. One that I know hates me. It's right before the intersection of Shields and Lake and every time I pass it, it goes out. And I mean every. Single. Time. And every single time, I somehow still get startled by it and let out a muffled "sonofabitch!" I have no clue why it goes out when I pass it. I've seen plenty of cars and pedestrians pass it without so much of a flicker, so I must be giving off some sort of weak electromagnetic pulse or something. Which, if it's true, could be just the kind of lame super power I need to finish my lame super power bingo card.

4. This one is just a generalization about other bikers I encounter. I know for a fact that not everyone who rides a bike does it for pleasure. Take, for example, me. I do it out of necessity. And spite. Mostly spite. However, the vast majority of other cyclists seem to be the hardcore, spandex wearing, aerodynamic helmet sporting, performance bicycle riding enthusiasts. And in this case I call them "cyclists" rather than "bikers" because that's probably what they consider themselves. "Oh, I'm cyclist. Look at all my uncomfortable curves as I pass you no matter how fast you're going." It wouldn't bother me so much, but somehow, I know they're judging me with their judging eyes, hiding behind their judgeproof sunglasses with UV protection.

They're just one subset of other bike riders that annoy me. Perhaps I'll get into the dreaded "fixie" riders next time.

BONUS IMAGE: Lame Super Power Bingo